You're my Mithai Ki Dukaan.

You are there.

Not in striking distance. Good. Lucky you.

You annoy me, confuse me. But mostly yourself.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know why but I hate 'I don't know'.

IDK annoys me.

Very much.

Spare me the drama, please?

I have a tough time reading between lines.

Be straightforward. Like me.

Learn to be straightforward. Not as much as me.

Curl in to a ball and then open wide.

Spare me the torture, oh evil one.

Okay, you're not evil. Not that much anyway.

You just don't know. Anything.

And unknowingly make my head go 'jbsrgjbjbsrgsdrgh'.

And seemingly you don't want to my mess with my head.

Maybe you do. Maybe you just don't know it.

You don't like asking questions or help.

Change. You will get nowhere with that attitude, as someone famous once said.

Sometimes externals are required.

No one expects only one (half) brain to think of what it wants. (though it can)

It wasn't that hard before, was it?

I'm fine. I AM FINE.

I will be fine. IF I am not.

Let me go.

I think I need some time out.

I don't know whether I do.

Wow. That's a first, isn't it?

Do I take it? And hurt you?

Obviously, that I don't want to do.

Or I don't and contemplate whether I do or not?

I'm stuck. Help?

See, it's not that hard.

Help is just a phonecall away, usually.

Pray to your leader that everything will fall in to place.

It will... Eventually.

Till then...

You're my one.

You're my only one.

You're the person I adore.

You're the person I want to talk to when things go wrong (other than you).

You're the person I seek for love from (platonic also).

You're the person I could probably hear about all day and not get bored.

Chances are, you're the person whose eyes I could stare in to for a really long time AND be quiet.

You're the person I'd quiet down for.

You're the person I'd sing/write/dance/act/not-act/study/sleep/eat/drink/not-smoke for.

You're the person I want to be with. (Again, platonically also)

You're the person I'd call 'mithai ki dukaan' as only one mithai will not show your worth.

You're the person I'd look stupid/smart/funny/nerdy/athletic/tubby/beautiful/ugly for.

You're the person I'd be not sad for.

You're the person I'd kill for. (Flies and some insects, only some)

You're the person I want to be.

You're the person who makes me a better person. (If that made any sense)

You're the person I'd only care about. (And some friends. Rest all can kiss my round ass)

You're the person whose words I'd believe without a doubt. (Exceptions are there, everywhere)

You're my 'mithai ki dukaan'.

P.S- I will not do justice if I'd only call her one sort of Mithai. So there you have it. Mithai ki Dukaan... (Sweet shop)

Only One - Yellowcard

Honestly, I didn't like Yellowcard that much. But very weirdly, I think I'm in love with this song. Okay, not love but I definitely think it's so fucking apt.

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

My favorite part is

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Ifeellikeanimbecile : |

Lurking in the shadows of the nightlife; this is not where I want to be, this is not where I need to be.

I pretend everything’s alright. I pretend everything’s fine.

No one knows, no one cares. I can be by myself.

I am used to being by myself.

It annoys not knowing, not understanding, not reasoning.

But I’ll be fine, right? I always have been. This time’s no different, right?

I don’t want to do anything; my space is destroyed.

I don’t want to be anything; my head is smashed.

I don’t want to understand anything; okay, lying is my way.

I don’t want to feel anything; being non-human is in bad taste.

Being enigmatic was supposed to be a compliment?

I thought funny, smart, witty and charming was.

WHY are some people enigmas?

Make things clearer for us morals down here, please.

Ifeellikeanimbecile. Yes, I’m actually close to saying something of the sort.

Gah* I hate humans… I do, honestly. They do not; I repeat DO NOT, care in any sort of way. Why do they have to sit and play games? Are they sadistic? Are actually enjoying what they do us non-humans? Why can’t they say something that you might actually want to hear, like answers, or reasons? Nothing else is actually expected, you know, non-humans don’t expect much. Itna kya dikat hain?

This is after Appy’s party… L I hate parties, humans and rap ‘music’.

Curves and Hands...

Hello, I know this post is after a really loooong time but yeah... I just wrote this last night after coming from Play... I plan to continue it in other posts... But yeah..! =)

Sadly, she didn’t fancy me, well at least not as much as I fancied her. But who cares, it’s not like I’m crazy about her or anything; or her long, flow-y hair or even her dark eyes for that matter. She was she and I was just me, the lonely, stupid, ugly girl who no one took notice of. Well, she didn’t; the one person who should have taken notice. I don’t think I could have made it anymore obvious that I had a thing for her. She knew I looked at her, she knew I admired her; only thing was why it was so hard for her to accept… Anything.

 

I can’t dance and it’s not like I have two left feet, I have four. And she was amazing, and amazing means she could do five pirouettes WITHOUT falling all over the place. And she had the smile of a toothpaste model (or maybe even better) and she was the sweetest thing anyone could have laid eyes on. She was soft spoken, well mannered and just so god-damn-it nice. She was shy, conservative and considerate; those were most of the things I liked about her. The rest were pretty much her hips, her amazingly strong legs and her hands. Her hands were the prettiest, perfectest, nicest and amazingest ever. They way she moved them could make you watch them for ages without getting distracted.

 

“Come on, you know you can do it. Just squeeze your inner thighs.” And then she’d place her hands over my thighs and squeeze them shut. But that wasn’t all; she also liked her hips to be observed very carefully. “Why are you not looking at what I am doing with my hips? LOOK!!! Copy me or at least try to get somewhat of what I’m doing.” Like I could copy her with my four feet.

 

“Hey, do you play any instrument or sing or know someone else who does?” She asked me one day. “Yeah, I play the guitar and keyboard. And sing a bit. Why?” “A bunch of us are forming a band and we only got drummer, bassist and lead. Would you like to join us?” “Would I? It would be effing crazy man. I’d love to. When do you want me to audition?” “Are you free next Saturday? Cool.” And that was the first time I saw her outside the studio, in her tight-ass jeans. Wow, I don’t think anyone’s hips could have looked better.

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked. “Like what? You were looking at me so I looked at you. Simple.” “No, I wasn’t looking at you.” Then how did you know I was looking at you?” and I stuck my tongue out. Yeah, I was like that, I did the annoying bit. Like kindergarten boys tugging on the girl’s hair. Wow, I took pride in being a little mature and a good listener but it turns out, I’m deaf in my left ear and probably not that mature.  

Heartbreaks and Puppy Love

Heartbreaks are not only caused by lovers or girlfriends or boyfriends. They are caused by anything that means a lot to you. And as much as most people would like to say otherwise... Puppy love does exist. 

I was 9 when I had my first heartbreak (that's not as unbeliveable as it sounds). I saw the cutest puppy, I repeat PUPPY and I begged my mom to let me take it home and save it from the wrath of all the Cokes and Popcorn (we saw her when we got out of a cinema hall). Eventually she did say yes and we got her home. She one of the cutest things I had ever seen. She was black and had white stockings in the front paws and white shoes on the back paws. She had a white patch shaped like a shooting star on the back of her neck. I thought that made a little more than lucky. She was playful, smart, adorable and pretty much what everyone looks for in a dog. As she was black my 9 year old mind decided to name her Shadow (and not to be racist either). My mom was not a fan of hers, as were most people because she was a stray and probably had some disease that she was dying to give to us, though the doctor said she was perfectly healthy. But obviously as 'elders' are "look at her, her coat doesn't shine, she is going to grow up to be very ugly and big, you won't be able to look after her, blah blah blah." 

STUPID MOTHERFUCKING ADULTS... I STILL FUCKING HATE YOU ALL AND I STILL HOPE THAT ALL THE EVIL FUCKING THINGS YOU HAVE DONE COME AND BITE YOU ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASSES.

I was a child. Nobody should have played with my feelings. Imagine a 9 year old gullible child being told by a bunch of people who she looks up to, that her dog was probably best left back where she came from. I have never cried or protested so much in my entire life. Infact... I still cry and I do not think it shows weakness, it shows mourning and loss and also a bit of suffering. 

So one day we kept her with the strays outside our compound; she was friendly with them, as MOST FUCKING good dogs were. But later on in the evening, there was a slight scratching and whining outside our door. It was her. She found her way through the guards and made her way to the 3rd floor. A dog that had barely stayed for a while at her house made her way. I thought maybe this will make them change their mind. But obviously, I was 9, you never know better when you are 9. So they pestered me enough and finally I broke and I bid my last good bye to her, telling her to be good and to miss me because I was gonna miss her. I remember crying on her and she licking my nose to tell me it would be all okay. BUT WHAT IS ALL OKAY???!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL OKAY!!!? 

Well, obviously the next few days I was miserable so mom decided it was maybe time to go and find her. And obviously we didn't find her where we left her. She was gone and no one (the watchmen around the cinema hall) knew where she was. 

Everyone (my friends in my building) was sad because everyone loved her; and how could you blame them. She was playful (she loved chewing on things and running around with them), smart (she learned to 'sit' when she was 3 months old), adorable (I'll show you the proof) and still had all the qualities a person would look for in a dog. 

There's pretty much one thing that I have learned from this. Trusting your parents, might be easy, but I don't think I want to be trusting them much. Oh and also... Why my child will be better than me??? Because I have actually learnt from my parents mistakes. I don't think mine ever did. 

P.S- Sorry about the picture quality... They a pictures of pictures as my scanner doesn't work.

Shiver Me Timbers...

Yeah... Festivals... Yeah... No... Not my thing... I don't like festivals or celebrations (except for birthdays). But somehow JuuJuu* managed to convince me to play Holi this year... Bleh JuuJuu Bleh*!!! So yeah... I didn't stay at home, eat pizza (okay I did that but yeah) and watch a really good movie... Instead I went down in my building, got colored, dirty, stinky, pinky (I have pink in places I would not like to mention) and wet... 

Sadly... It was fun... We danced under water (rain apparently) and had a hell lotta fun. Though Kumail, Rahul, Arjun and Seerat ditched us in the end. But overall I think this was my best holi... We played, went home, had our showers, go ready and went to Domino's!!! (WOOHOO; it is better than PizzHut) We ate, looked at random shops... And then finally decided to go to Tall Grass (a hookah joint)... We just sat around, did nothing and smoked pipe... Fun, fun, fun! It's like a perfect end to a perfect day... Except for the pink bits... Bleh* 

And Goro made me a redneck... A literal one mind you... And Asad got really drunk and started asking for me... HaHa... Bastard went to High Point... HAHAHAHAHA FAG!!! We ate pizzas!!! But other than that... It was awesome... And I wish some people were here to celebrate too... But it's okay... 

P.S- Festivals are still a bitch... And people are still really annoying with the holi thingi...

P.P.S- I had an eyepatch over my right eye for pretty much the entire time I was playing holi... Shiver Me Timbers bitches!

P.P.P.S- Happy Holi bitches!!! =)

Gampires DO exist...

Bleh* It's not even funny how boring nights can be... (Also lazy but I'll get to that later) 

So one of my friends (being nice and all) sent all the Twilight E-books to me... I was bored and I totally wanted to see what were they so hyped up about... 

The book... NOT WORTH IT..! The writing is waaaaaaay to amateur and I can bet if I had to write about something similar (me being 15) would have totally gotten acclaim for my writing skills (not that I'm any good but so so much better than that) 

The only thing really catchy was the story... Though New Moon got me really bored in between... And I totally understand the concept of Gampires (Gay-Vampires)...

Like seriously... I get that you're trying to give him a softer side... And that he can love and blah blah blah... But WHERE IS THE GODDAMN BLOOD AND GORE!!!??? Like at least put a little bit... Please..! =( 

But the concept of a vampire falling in love and all... Is okay really... (I still don't get why Asad and Goro were sooooo offended by it) but yeah... BITE A PERSON WOULD YA... Or like at least have a little of her blood once a week or summin... And somehow Edward Cullen does not seem like a very HOT person... Like he may look it but somehow doesn't come across like a very nice person... SOOO MOODY..! And all the coldness is not that atractive... The warmth of Jacob Black is so much better... And yesh... I think Jacob makes a better boyfriend... 

But yeah... Vampire are sexy... This one is... But his personality isn't... I would totally do him... But not date him... Where as Jacob is 6'5 and a werewolf... Dogs are sexier than Bats...

And her writing skills are not great but the reason this book sells it beacuse of her storyline... No one can compare this to Harry Potter (I'm sorry but Harry Potter has everything you could ask for)... 

And stupid Edward... Make her a bloody vampire (Bloody Vampire, haha)... I'm positive her parents wouldn't mind... 

P.S- Mommy... Eating carrots and curd for din din is not weird...