OMG OMG OMG!!!

I think you look supercute here! And plus, my face isn't really there!

This was when I fell in sexxyness for you! :D

^^Why we're perfect together! :) I <3 you!

There's this boy I know. He's funny, charming, adorable and smart. (When does that happen?:O) But one day, he decided that he had to move away. From me. From everyone. And I can say with honesty, I was depressed as hell. Because he was the most amazing I boy I had known. Now the US is like a gazillion miles away so visiting him in the weekends was kinda impossible.

But there was Facebook AND MSN AND Gtalk, right? RIGHT! I realized his true level of awesomeness online! I can say for a fact he's one person I have been far from and close to at the same time! :D I tell him everything. About me, about everything. I adore him, with all my heart. And if (IF) he requires it, I might just give up anything for him. I have a feeling that he tells me everything too (I hope he does, anyway). And I can't wait for him to visit Bbay so we can make sexy, sexy time ( ;) :P )

He's my love, my life, my pretty much everything and I don't know what I could do without him. In fact, I can't even imagine it.

P.S (pun intended)- Today he's17! EEEEEE* My baby's 17! HE'S SEVEN-FUCKING-TEEN! :D

P.P.S- I can't wait for him here, with my Twizzlers! And his... You know what! ;P

P.P.P.S- I know I promised something better, but babe, this is all I can do, remember the thing called a writer's block?

P.P.P.P.S- You shizzle my dizzle! :D

P.P.P.P.P.S- BABE! I LOOOOVE YOU SOOO MUCH!!!

Je t'adore si beaucoup!!! मैं आपसे बहुत प्यार करती हूँ!!!

I'm never alone. I'm alone all the time.

Good morning blog! Ah, how I love bunking school... Gives me an entire day all to myself in the comforts of my room, only. Not that I don't have work to do. :|

I just realized, I can whoop ass when I feel like it. Especially while debating. Mostly while debating. Goddamnit! I can whoop as otherwise too, you know, I just don't do it. I can't deliberately hurt someone. I wish I could though; I could have shut so many people up from trying, I emphasize on TRYING, insult me or make fun of me when I don't really like them. I always can say things back. But one crazy ass punch gives me 10 minutes, na? Which reminds me...

I'm not a hater. I never was. But certain people! OMG I COULD STAB THEM REPEATEDLY WITH A FUCKING DAGGER, SHOOT 20,000 HOLES IN THEM AND DRILL HOLES IN TO THEIR SKULLS AND NOT BE FUCKING SATISFIED! GRRRRRRRR*!

I fucking hate you, don't you get that I don't wish to talk to you? I mean, I DO make it fucking obvious, you stupid incompetent whores! Stop trying to quote me to the friends we got in common, they know, I know, you suck.

Phew* feels good to vent (and be honest)

I'm not a lover either. I never was. But I'm in love now. Yay! Not! I don't know. Ah, who cares. I'm not really in love, love (I guess) but I feel like hugging people and kissing them (no, not sexually, I'm not a pervert, remember?). And I sometimes make them stupid hearts to people. (Yes, Suga Muffin, I am talking about you. And See-weed. And Anai. Oh GOD, IT'S NEVERENDING!)

I'm never alone. But I feel alone all the time. I don't think I even need to explain this feeling. Thank you, Bush (not like the president, or like the 'bush' above someone's genitals. Bush like the band! Lead singer is married to Gwen Stefani? Now does that make sense?)

I think my friends are plotting against me. Okay, not plotting, but definitely up to something! I get my birthday is coming and I don't want to celebrate but you guys want to throw a partaaay! But sheesh, rather obvious, na? My mom even, for that matter. I'm not a 5 year old kid! I'm turning 16, remember? I do get you guys plot against me, but this! I was thinking of having a poker party, you know? The entire Gatsby kinda party. But no time, no place. Misused mistakes. =P Let's just get drunk, na?

P.S- Paintballing in lonavala anyone?

I'm in love with the ugliest girl in the world.

The woman that I love she got a hook in her nose
her eyebrows meet, she wears second hand clothes
She speaks with a stutter and she walks with a hop
I don't know why I love her but I just can't stop

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

If I ever lose her I will go insane
I go half crazy when she calls my name
When she says babababababy I l-l-love you
There ain't nothing in the world that I wouldn't do

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

The woman that I love she got two flat feet
Her knees knock together walking down the street
She cracks her knuckles and she snores in bed
She ain't much to look at but like I said

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

I don't mean to say that she got nothing goin'
She got a weird sense of humor that's all her own
When I get low she sets me on my feet
Got a five inch smile but her breath is sweet

You know I love her
Yeah I love her
I'm in love with the Ugliest Girl in the World

The woman that I love she a got a prizefighter nose
Cauliflower ears and a run in her hose
She speaks with a stutter and she walks with a hop
I don't know why I love her but I just can't stop

I mean this is just AWWW! And I don't aww... Sadly, men like Bob Dylan died out with the dinosaurs. And WHEN will someone write something like this for me? I'm not asking you to love me, just write something for me. I sick of writing for other people. :| Mera number kab ayega? WHEN?!

We are alone, together.

You know, the entire day things happen and I go like, hmm... I should write about this on my blog. And now when the time comes to type, I have actually forgotten each one of them thoughts. Goddamn!

So some of the thoughts I can remember...

1) I don't see what's wrong in not wanting to celebrate my birthday. AND don't play that 'you always get so excited for your birthday! What happened this year?" Last year, I had my math prelim paper on my birthday (which was on a Monday btw, and I HATE MONDAYS!) and a French one the next day... And you tell me I am excited for my birthdays.

2) People assume I'm not fine but I am. I so totally am! I mean it. Go on, don't believe me but I am, okay? Hmmph! For the first time, I am. As much as you claim to know the differences in my voice, tone, style of dressing (wtf?) and behaviour, have you ever considered the fact that I might have changed a teeny tiny bit? Not totally, though. I am still the one you can always depend on and the one who'd give you new music.

3) I like Hindi, okay? I mean, it is our national language after all. Agar mujhe Hindi me baat karna accha lag ta hain, uska matlab nahin ki mein Angrezi mein theek se baat nahi kar sakti hoon. (Just cuz I like talking in Hindi doesn't mean I can't talk in English) I am actually pretty fluent in English. Screw YOU, illiterate people.

So now for the nagging thought of the day. (yesterday but I was too tired/stoned to blog)

We are alone, together. Are those the words single friends (mostly girls) say to each other? To convince themselves that being alone is fine? Ah, it isn't really. But come on! There is definitely something wrong with that sentence.

But we are alone, together, right? All my single ladies, all my single ladies, put your hands up!

Okay, THAT was lame! But I was just talking about the video with one of my male friends and realized that YESH, THAT was HOT! I gotta start remembering things man. Like I completely forgot the video and it's so not worth forgetting.

ANYWAY... As I was saying... We are all alone, together... In this world, this teeny tiny world... Where people matter (or should anyway).

I have just realized why I am 'alone' though, I am insensitive, my 'id' works in overdrive and I hurt people, A LOT. I apoplogize, thoroughly to everyone I have hurt... And we all are alone, together...

P.S- Thank you Natasha Periera, Rashmi Narkar(er?) and Shruti Shastri... If it weren't for random shit in the classroom... This post wouldn't have existed... :)

P.P.S- I know you were expecting something funnier but I've been down in the dumps recently... (remember Service?)

Goddamn!

Wow... I never thought guilt could consume so much of me! I mean it's not like I gave a fuck anyway, right? (okay, maybe I did but that's what you thought na?) And as superficial you might think I am, I really miss you, now, and I shouldn't have been stupid. I usually say life's too short for regrets but GODDAMN! I can't stop thining about you and the way things ended. Sheesh, I sound like such an obsessed, opressed weirdo. BUT it's not like I have much of a choice. You were (are) perfect and I would probably do anything to get things back to what they were. STUPID, STUUUUPID ME! GAH* Chances are, you would have saved me, from myself, and other things. Goddamn me! GODDAMN ME! You were like my best friend+teacher+crazy person+mature person wrapped in to one. And obviously, there's no one like you, ever.

I'm sorry. I really am. I miss your smell too (sometimes, not your smell after bball though). I miss your annoying laugh and the way I could tell you anything, effortlessly. You were my first. I shouldn't have. I'm so so SO sorry. But apologies are not meant to be accepted. Sorry babe. I wish I get the courage to talk things out with you.

Things I have to learn part 1

I type this as I smoke my last cigarette. (Damn you Jon Bon Jovi for being so sexy and also I need to buy more cigarettes.) I always claimed to be a good listener but it turns out, I talk, way too much AND deaf from my left ear. Like WOW. I mean my friends (all of you) have to just put up with so much. I can't just SHUT UP! I wish I could though. I'm sorry, all of you.

I realized today that I talk way too much about this certain person I know. And my friends have to put with so much as I can't shut up about this person. So I have decided to talk a little lesser (and decrease my phone bill) and be nicer to all you people.

So now, everytime I dream OR have a thought OR think of something funny, I shall laugh all secretely to myself. I am done being an open book as obviously that didn't turn out quite well.

Why do people even like me? I mean, I'm insensitive, annoying, rude, pompous, narcisstic, perverted?, over-smart, MY music obsessed, obsessive and have no sense of responsibility. Those are not the qualities one likes very much. And I'm not even that cute. I just LOOK like a teddy bear; behaviour is not of the before mentioned.

And ironcially, I know of only 4 people who absoutely detest me. (Smart them, na?) Just stop talking to me, would ya? I need to learn how to shut up and listen.

Incompetency (If that is even a word)

I have never felt stupider my entire life. I mean how dare anyone say I'm smart! I'm far from smart. I mean, Math, makes no sense to me. Does anyone really even care whether I'll be doing calculus or not? I mean quadratics is almost above me, statistics I don't have a choice :(, mensuration? WTF is that anyway? Stupid bi nomial theorem (Okay, it's easy when you are not solving problems and when does that happen?)

OH and physics... HA! I went for this stupid aptitude/career test and the lady says "I would have told you to get into engineering but your math isn't high. But your mechanical thinking/ physics is amazing." FROM WHICH ANGLE YOU STUPID WOMAN?!?! I really don't understand anything. :|

Economics. Thank GOD I dropped that shit!

Business Studies? Thank GOD I NEVER did that shit.

IT... Technology, as nice it is, sucks. ASS.

French? Je ne comprende pas rien. Excepte, je fenerai de tour de Eiffel. (Merci, Mme. Dhyanii)

Chemistry... Okay, I admit... I REALLY enjoy the subject... But I never seem to get much. I mean what are Organic/Inorganic compounds? Or like stupid ionic equations (The simplest I don't understand). Oh and Polymers and Petrochemicals? Psssshh... I don't even know what those mean? :|

Biology. It was my best. I swear. I LOVED it... But IB makes you just hate everything... :| I have never been bored in Bio my entire life. :| And them stupid microscopes give me headaches. :| Yeeesh.

Films. I have ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY no idea. I haven't ever done it... :( (A white light from below please?)

VIJUAL Arts. Wow... Being decently creative doesn't imply you can draw. Anything. How will I ever pass in VA man? These really awesome people who did art all fucking day go and get fours. HOW WILL I EVER GET ABOVE A MOTHERFUCKING 2? AAAAAAAH!

English. Ah, one thing I can say I can do decent at. At least I can understand bits of it.

Pyschology. My 6th love. As of now, anyway. (Maybe my awesomely smoking hot teacher might have raised my interests a little bit.) This is the ONLY subject I'd bother doing anything for. With good reason. My pyschology teacher loves my theories. Especially the one about girls from girls only schools. But I will get to that later. (And for those who beg to differ, she said it's feasible, okay?)

I hate wanting to go through things again. I mean should I really stick to VA? Or shift to chemistry? Or maybe even something else? Like eco? Or I don't know. Goddamn! Help? PLEASE? I never ask.

Ah, I Love Jack Johnson

This is my 20th post... Wow! Anyway...

Have you ever heard a song you wished someone would sing for you? (Or you sing for someone else) Ah, I love Jack Johnson. He's got the cutest songs ever. And whichever song it is, you always wish you could have someone serenade that to you or serenade it to someone. But yeah, you get the picture.

Well, I was crazy about you then and now
The craziest thing of all, over ten years have gone by
And you're still mine, we're locked in time
Let's rewind

Do you remember when we first moved in together?
The piano took up the living room
You played me boogie-woogie I played you love songs
You'd say we're playing house now you still say we are

We built our getaway up in a tree we found
We felt so far away though we were still in town
Now I remember watching that old tree burn down
I took a picture that I don't like to look at

- Do You Remember.

And I'm just a waste of her, energy.
She's just wasting my time, Mm hm
So why don't we get together
And we could waste, everything, tonight
And we could waste, we could waste it all, tonight

Yeah,We could waste it,we could waste, we could waste it all.

And I don't pretend to know what you know, No no
Now please don't pretend to know what's on my mind
But if we already knew everything that everybody knows
We would have, nothing to learn, tonight
And we would have, nothing to show, tonight
Oh

But everybody thinks that everybody knows
About everybody else, nobody knows
Anything, about themselves
Because they're all worried about everybody else
Yeah yeah mmm hmm ahh


This love's just a waste of our, energy,
and this life's just a waste of our time,
So why don't we get together
And we could waste, everything, tonight
And we could waste
We could waste it all...
Yeah

- Wasting Time.

Ah, how I LOVE Jack Johnson..! =D