Goddamn!

Wow... I never thought guilt could consume so much of me! I mean it's not like I gave a fuck anyway, right? (okay, maybe I did but that's what you thought na?) And as superficial you might think I am, I really miss you, now, and I shouldn't have been stupid. I usually say life's too short for regrets but GODDAMN! I can't stop thining about you and the way things ended. Sheesh, I sound like such an obsessed, opressed weirdo. BUT it's not like I have much of a choice. You were (are) perfect and I would probably do anything to get things back to what they were. STUPID, STUUUUPID ME! GAH* Chances are, you would have saved me, from myself, and other things. Goddamn me! GODDAMN ME! You were like my best friend+teacher+crazy person+mature person wrapped in to one. And obviously, there's no one like you, ever.

I'm sorry. I really am. I miss your smell too (sometimes, not your smell after bball though). I miss your annoying laugh and the way I could tell you anything, effortlessly. You were my first. I shouldn't have. I'm so so SO sorry. But apologies are not meant to be accepted. Sorry babe. I wish I get the courage to talk things out with you.